While I usually dread election season, this year my mindset has been almost completely transformed. This is almost completely thanks to a graduate course I’m currently taking called “The Art and Asceticism of Dialogue.”
I won’t share a schema of my notes or copy a lot of quote – although both would be insightful – but share some of the practical things I have learned and been able to apply in this environment of such heated and dividing politics.
As Christians, we are called to live in community. For starters, we are made in the image of the Trinity who is defined by its cohabitant unity and diversity. From the earliest revelations of our God to the Jewish people, primarily through Abraham and Moses, we learn that God – whom Jesus Christ introduced as Father (and we also see describe “him”self in very feminine and mothering terms) – wants to save us as a People of God.
This doesn’t negate our individuality and autonomy, rather calls to a higher importance our free will and sense of mutual responsibility, care and concern.
In this current political atmosphere, where we are really all trying to stand for principles and project that “save” some aspect of human dignity and prosperity – I wonder how often we remember that those who disagree with how to go about that are, in essence, family members. If not of the same race or national origin, religious belief or social status… we need to remember that we are not DEFINED by our political party.
Dialogue, as I have been learning is a very practical, albeit challenging, tool.
Dialogue is not debating or arguing. It is not focused on a specific outcome and does not have any rhetorical purpose. Dialogue is neither glossing over differences of opinion or experience or diluting what we know to be universal truths or Christian teachings.
My professor defined dialogue as: an open-ended conversation in which the gifts of self are exchanged. Not merely ideas shared, but self-gifts exchanged. This requires patience, humility, time, attention and perseverance.
One of the great enemies of dialogue is that we all want to be heard, to be understood and feel accepted. There is so much pain and brokenness in the world, and so many ways to distract ourselves from it, that we don’t always share our deepest truths and most vulnerable stories. We all want to be listened to – but when we encounter true friends and trusted confidants (unless we’re paying them as a therapist) a conversation tends to be two persons in dire need of talking and revealing… which means there’s never anyone to listen.
I invite you to the challenge of being intentional for a certain amount of time, or in a certain relational setting, to set aside the political rhetoric in which we’re currently drowning, and simply focus on listening. Listen, which includes asking questions to clarify if what you’re hearing isn’t clear and mirroring back to make sure you’re capturing the other person’s story, experience or opinion.
You could even do this as an intentional exercise with a friend, colleague or family member – but be specific that it is meant to be an interpersonal exchange. In this case, then the tables can be turned and you can have the experience of really being heard.
Where does listening start? Truly, it starts in prayer and interior recollection listening to God and ourselves. So, if making the attempt to listen to others seems daunting, try spending an extra 10-15 minutes just listening quietly to God or tuning in to your own interior conversations.
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